Activity 4.2 Solitary Effort

1. List activities you usually do, and prefer to do, with others. These are activities that take place away from home.

Cooking, concerts, movies, playing sports or exercising, dancing, going out to dinner

2. Select from the list above one activity you will do alone in the next two weeks.

I will go out to dinner by myself.


Reflections on the experience:
I went to Zoe's Kitchen for dinner on Thursday night by myself. Admittedly, I was nervous and I grappled with the decision whether or not I should take a book so that I might look busy and occupied, rather than alone. I finally decided to not take the book because I wanted to see if I could take the aloneness rather than trying to mask it; and who are we kidding, everyone knows that the person eating by themselves with a book is still a person eating by themselves. I decided to own it.

I sat down in an area near the side of the restaurant, aware of my desire not to be right in the middle of the room, where I felt people might be staring at me. I had time to think and a lot of time to observe. I felt more aware of my surroundings and the people around me. If I had been with another person, I would have been giving them and the conversation my full attention. In this instance, I got to observe a variety of people and scenarios in the restaurant.

When I finished eating, I didn't dawdle around. I finished my food and left, being fully aware that I was still somewhat uncomfortable because I wanted it to appear that my being alone in this restaurant for dinner was merely for the functional need to feed myself, rather than to enjoy my own company or observe the behaviors of other people. I suppose I am still slightly uncomfortable with the idea of dining alone, though my next challenge is to dine at a higher end restaurant. It will take some time to build up to that.